4 questions that transform your relationships
I came across The Work more than 15 years ago. Rob, my husband, back then my friend, introduced it to me. It’s a is a self-inquiry method developed by Byron Katie, aimed at questioning and challenging one's thoughts and beliefs to alleviate suffering and find inner peace. It sounds tacky but it’s more than what it sounds like. Extremely powerful to change the way you think and feel about things that tricker the sh*t out of you, yet super simple to do.
The process involves identifying stressful thoughts, examining them through four questions, and then turning those thoughts around to explore alternative perspectives.
The four questions are:
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without that thought?
By rigorously questioning our thoughts and beliefs using these inquiries, individuals often discover that many of their perceived problems are based on assumptions or misinterpretations. This realization can lead to a shift in perspective and a greater sense of mental freedom and clarity.
Additionally, the "turnaround" step encourages individuals to consider opposite or alternative interpretations of the original thought, which can reveal insights and open up new possibilities for understanding and relating to oneself and others. You’ll find that who or what used to push your buttons, doesn’t have the same power on you and you get less triggered.
Overall, The Work by Byron Katie is a practical and transformative approach to self-inquiry and personal growth, empowering individuals to challenge their mental habits and find greater peace and happiness in their lives.
The people who triggere us the most are the ones very close to us, our parents, siblings, children….
So, spending time with them grants great opportunities for triggers and self-inquiery.
At APTB, one of our methodologies to give children a as-free-as-possible-upbringing includes taking responsibilty for our conditioning and this is when The Work comes in and can do some magic in your life.
I encourage you to give it a try and witness for yourself the simplicity yet effectivenes it has. It can transform your relationships - the one to others, but above all, the one to yourself.
I suggest to visit Byron Katie’s website and watch some videos about it.
Photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash
