Screens, Freedom, and Learning: A Delicate Balance at APTB
Hey Plebbles!
Arguments about screen time for kids probably exist in most households on a daily or weekly basis and at APTB we also continue to work on the best balance to provide for the kids, respecting their freedom but also weighing out the negative influence.
On the one hand, unlimited screen time leads to an overconsumption in most cases. Whether self-regulation is learned at some point, or addiction takes over, is to be seen in each individual case. Even if self-regulation happens most of the time after months or years, the time spent in front of the screen could have been spend in more important ways for the development of a child that can not be recovered.
Do we limit screen time to avoid an addiction? Do we control the content to prevent dependency? Do we let children choose what to watch and for how long and let destiny take its course hoping for the best?
What is more important - freedom or health?
Studies clearly show the negative impact on our brains and therefore many other parts of our body, emotions and psyche caused by blue light and other factors. Social media and other online recourses have the goal to keep users coming back, influencing their world views, beliefs and empowering their biases.
Is it enough to prepare our children by telling them about this and teaching them how to use the internet safely?
How good are YOU at not letting the power of the devices take over?
Our behaviour, how we treat our children, how much our words and actions match have the biggest impact on our children’s decision, I would argue.
There is clearly not one right answer because it all depends on many factors and each individual and situation.
At APTB, we blend care-free play with other kids of all ages in nature (basically nature itself) and technology (an important part of our era and future).
We focus a lot on the natural side of things because ultimately we are just another animal on the planet and when using our instinctive potential, we will get way farther in a healthy way, than by exclusively using our intellect and technology.
We weren’t wired to spend hours in front of a screen but to move, use our whole body, immerse ourselves in free play and hands-on tasks. This is how we have learned and evolved for millions of years and just because we now have technology in overflow, doesn’t mean it’s not part of our physiology any longer and we can disregard it.
Manfred Spitzer, a German neuroscientist and psychiatrist, in his 's book, "Digital Dementia", warns against the superficiality and negative consequences of excessive digital media use, advocating for a cautious and balanced approach to technology consumption, especially among young people.
He argues that the link between heavy internet and video game use and the reduction in grey matter in the brain, is irrefutable. We still don’t know what the long term consequence of this early childhood interaction will be.
There are also studies that show that we do learn a lot through gaming and I can see how my 7 year old daughter uses Minecraft to interact with her friends, both online and in person. She’s learning a new skill and feels proud when achieving a new level. I also witness that she only plays when her friends play and always chooses outdoor play over screen time when someone asks her if she’d like to go out. It’s also helping her to learn how to read and write.
Also, once a week, the kids meet at ours to do a Minecraft party. They play Minecraft while us adults go out for dinner. It has become a tradition and we all enjoy it.
Visual learning is also a factor to consider. Some people learn best when watching others do a task. Videos and online courses give us the possibility to learn something that we wouldn’t be able to that easily looking for teachers or resources in our nearby surroundings. It saves us time and we can pause videos when we need a break, go over them as often as we want until we understand the lesson, and so forth.
Coming back to video games, more questions arise…
Should video games and screen time use be limited to learning purposes? Should we have that much say in what our kids use tech for? Do WE use screens only to learn something? How do we decide how much time each person should spend doing ‘non-learning‘ related things on a device? How do we know when someone is learning and when not?
Here’s another finding through studies: People who get addicted (screens, drugs, food, sex, work, gambling etc) do so because they are deeply unhappy and are trying to fill an internal hole.
As for myself, I have had 2 natural home births. At ages 7 and 4 they are still sleeping next to me every night. Bo continues to breastfeed and Lima did until she was 3. They’ve been unschooled since the day they were born and Rob and I work on ourselves on a daily basis to undo our conditioning. Therefore, I have little expectation of either one of them ever becoming addicted to anything and if so, it would be on a very superficial level, easily undone.
APTB is the extension of our lifestyle and values. Consequently, all people will be treated equally and with as much freedom, respect and unconditional love as we can.
There’s another thing to be said about freedom. There isn’t just the freedom we give but the freedom that we must protect to be maintained. We are born free and what children choose to do with this freedom is follow their natural impulses (play outdoors, try things out, imagine, explore etc). When we give them technology that has been created to make them want more and more of it (just like cocaine, processed food, etc), we take away that freedom. If it’s difficult for us adults to put our phones down, being aware of being addicted to certain apps, how hard is it for a child to stop himself from using something that has been designed to addict people?!
Children possess the freedom to be (present). Their minds haven’t been crammed up with layers of beliefs about the world, people and themselves. Most of us adults have been taught to suppress our emotions and to hide parts of ourselves in order to be loved and accepted. We have a hard time just sitting and doing nothing. We look for things to do, for distractions. One reason is because we can’t be alone with our own thoughts. They’re too painful and overwhelming at times. Children, on the other hand, effortlessly embody the essence of presence. They can sit in silence, observing the world around them with an unfiltered curiosity, unburdened by the weight of societal expectations and self-imposed limitations. In their innocence, they haven't yet learned to judge themselves or others, nor have they internalized the need to conform to rigid standards.
For children, every moment is an opportunity for discovery and wonder. They find joy in the simplest of things – a butterfly fluttering by, the sound of rain tapping against the window, or the sensation of sand slipping through their fingers. Their capacity to be fully immersed in the present moment is a reminder of the beauty of existence untainted by the complexities of adulthood.
As adults, however, we often find ourselves grappling with the incessant chatter of our minds, consumed by worries about the past or anxieties about the future. We carry the baggage of past experiences and societal conditioning, which clouds our ability to experience the world with the same unbridled enthusiasm as children. Our thoughts become tangled in a web of expectations, regrets, and fears, pulling us away from the simple act of being present.
Yet, there is a profound wisdom in the way children navigate the world – a wisdom born out of their innate ability to surrender to the moment without resistance or judgment. They remind us that true freedom lies in embracing the present, in letting go of the need to constantly seek distractions or validation from external sources. In their presence, we find a glimpse of our own untamed spirit, yearning to break free from the shackles of our conditioned minds.
In the eyes of a child, there is a purity that cuts through the noise of the world, inviting us to reconnect with our own inner child – the part of ourselves that knows how to dance in the rain, laugh without inhibition, and love without restraint. It is through this reconnection that we rediscover the true essence of being alive – a journey back to the simplicity and wonder of childhood, where every moment is an invitation to be fully present.
That’s the reason why I gave this project the name A Place To BE. So children can carry on in this state of being and us adults can return back to it.
Providing children with screens when they’re bored, when we want to have a quiet meal in a restaurant, when we need to get work done, when we’re too tired to set boundaries etc., we are being very selfish because we’re taking away our children’s freedom to BE. We are teaching them to find distraction in uncomfortable moments (when bored etc) and I personally don’t want this for my children and all the other children who will be part of APTB.
Therefore, as for the screen time management at APTB, we will have the following set up which will be evolving as we, as a close-nit tribe will adjust as we spend time together:
no mobile devices for anybody in and around the learning facilities (each person, adult or kids, will be equipped with a walkie-talkie to stay in touch when spread over a big piece of land)
the computer room will be supplied with a max of 10 laptops, providing that the kids will have to find a way to share. The usage of these will be limited to research purposes, coding, video editing and other tasks that are solely possible with a computer (e.g. kids won’t be able to colour or play games like dressing dolls, cleaning rooms, looking after a pet or anything that they can also do in real life)
the games room will also have a limited amount of devices making it compelling for the children to figure out a way to take turns
more to come when we have meditated, researched and decided on the best way to deal with screen time
What we essentially want to prevent is feeding addictive behaviours and teach using technology mostly in a productive way.
There are very few, if not zero positive things that go on within a human being when scrolling on social media.
If you feel, your child might not get enough access to screens and technology at APTB, let me say that you don’t need to worry about them catching up pretty quickly once they have 100% freedom as a young adult and not being restricted by you or APTB rules. However, recovering from an addiction created as a child that has kept him from experiencing and using the powerful natural instinct he possessed, will take way longer than learning how to handle a technological device.
When establishing a strong foundation based on unconditional love, ample freedom, protection from harmful substances (including addictive technology), and encouraging critical thinking and problem-solving skills, the period during which our children might excessively indulge in screen time, junk food, parties, etc. (typical behaviours of young adults exploring newfound freedoms around the age of 17), will be significantly reduced.
What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear your opinion.