Principle #2: Responsibility
IN THIS LESSON
Adults take responsibility for their actions.
Children learn responsibility naturally, by
a) being part of a community and
b) mirroring people older than them. We need to understand that forcing a child to take responsibility will not teach them this but could create more problems and resentment. Therefore, we practice patience, loving understanding and remind ourselves that it’s not a big deal if a child refuses to take responsibility.
Reminder: Every person has the right to learn at his/her own pace and way, therefore we mustn't rush a child to learn to take responsibility.
Adults take responsibility for their conditioning.
Other people, especially our kids, are the reflection of our own behaviours, fears, projections, the parts of us that we don’t like to look at. Therefore, it’s essential for adults to become aware of their own biases.
Self-reflection:
As you navigate our environment and the changes that come with it, you'll likely find yourself biting your tongue frequently. Use these moments as opportunities for self-reflection, observing the thoughts and beliefs that drive your actions. Understand that you won't always adhere to every guildeline perfectly. Your subconscious mind may resist, but by observing your thoughts and behaviors and striving to act in the best interest of each child, you'll gradually align with your objectives.
When faced with the urge to enforce something you deem important or when emotions run high, ask yourself:
Is it an emergency? Or, Will it have a lasting negative effect on somebody’s life?
If not, consider what's truly essential for the child's well-being and question any underlying fears or beliefs that may be influencing your behavior.
Additionally, reflect on how a young child or infant would perceive the situation, recognizing that much of our judgment stems from conditioned beliefs rather than objective reality.
Photo by Matteo Di Iorio on Unsplash
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"When a child feels our anxiety or our anger, he will do anything to escape it. This may include lying, pretending, or suppressing his natural self. Our emotions are not caused by our children, but by our own thinking and interpretations of their behavior."
― Naomi Aldort, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves